Damn, how has it already been 3 months since I’ve flown to Sofia, Bulgaria?! The time I spent there was deeply transformational, as I went through one of the lowest lows of the year – facing my shadows and fears, realising what’s been holding me back and deciding, once again, to leap into it with deep trust. And as I learned in the last 18 months of entrepreneurship, you have to jump off the cliff to see if you’ll fall or fly. But let's rewind:
It’s April. Spanish sun bronzing my cheeks, iced latte in front of me on the tiniest table in the cutest cafe in the tiniest town, San José de Cabo de Gata.
Next to me, two of my friends, one of them telling me once again about the digital nomad festival she’s going to in Bansko, Bulgaria. All the times before I was not really interested in joining her, despite her excitement about it – but this time, somehow the spark is setting my sacral on fire too (if you’re into HD, you’ll get that reference, if not - you should start ;)) The excitement is mainly coming from the fact that the flight from my closest airport to Sofia both ways comes to a total of 32€. Jup, you read that right. To go there AND back. How could anyone say no to that? So, one iced latte later all three of us booked flights for the beginning of June to go on a new adventure.
And all I knew was, there is something about this trip that feels like it is going to change things for me. How? No fucking idea. But I know it. (Turns out, I was right and it was a crazy ride)
Fast forward, middle of June. Sofia is vibrant and alive, entrepreneurs are everywhere, iced coffee is good and we are living the best life in the capital. Four full days of fun and networking, best food and a lot of wine. A perfect start for this month in Bulgaria.
It felt so expanding to be around like-minded people – and then, we went to Bansko.
Painting the picture for you real quick:
Romantic, tiny ski town in the mountains of Bulgaria. Beautiful nature and very instagram-y.
When we arrived: Pouring rain. For a week straight. Plus, some things happened that started to pile up and add to the streak of bad luck such as:
My washing machine flooding my entire apartment
Toaster AND oven smoking before even putting it on properly
Not having enough cutlery / plates/ stuff to actually live there (had to swap stuff with my friends so we all had some of everything)
But most importantly: I got a call from home that my aunt was in hospital and on the edge of death. And suddenly, the flooded apartment, the endless rain, the fact that Bansko was a ghost town at that point, all of that did not matter anymore.
Suddenly, I was faced with fear, sadness, anger, homesickness, helplessness and in the midst of it, SHOULD get back to work as I had been taking a break for our time in Sofia.
But I couldn’t.
Because not only was I feared for my aunt’s life – I was faced with the deep guilt I felt for leaving home and family to pursue the life of my dreams.
I was faced with the emotions I had suppressed for so long and only realized now, were sleeping there under the surface. Ready to roll over me in a gigantic, unrideable wave.
And it hit me with such force, that I was not able to do anything but cry and contemplate all my life decisions for four days straight.
Why did I give up my perfect life in Vienna that I had worked so hard to build over four years?
Why did I think I could ever be successful with my business?
Why did I leave my family and what if anything happened to my Mom or my Dad or my brother? My grandparents?
What on earth was I thinking?
I felt like giving up, flying home and ghosting my business, because how on earth was I ever going to succeed?
This wave crashed onto me and suddenly, I was broken down into little, fragile pieces.
Guilt –
for leaving my life in Vienna.
for leaving my family and my hometown.
for not being with my aunt and “missing” this tragic event.
Guilt for choosing my heart’s desire and my dream life.
And it felt like it would never end. Every second felt like eternity and nothing helped to ease the panic, that was slowly building inside of me. Until - it was over.
And just like it all came over me with such a force from one moment to another, so quickly it passed, because with a new week, there was:
Sun and summer arriving in Bansko
My aunt waking up, doctors saying they’ve never seen this before and that it truly was a miracle that she’s able to speak, understand, remember, walk and do everything quite normally after her brain injury
New people, new energy, new hope
This feeling of rebirth after crumbling and being left with nothing but dried tears on your cheeks
And with these new people, there was one woman that triggered the hell out of me (I apologise for my language, but this had to be clear). And I am so grateful I met her, because in this trigger I realized I was not living my truest self. I was not expressing what I wanted to say. I was hiding and playing small and avoiding stepping into my full power.
And so, I booked a session with her and we dove so deep into my subconscious, that I am still trying to integrate all the breakthroughs I had within 2 hours.
The short summary (because this is getting a little long and I’d love to cover this in depth in another email):
I literally talked to the Universe in this breathwork session, understanding what I am here to do and how much power I actually hold within
I am here to be a leader
I am here to spread my truth and to help people understand why they are here and to step into their potential
I have everything I need within me. Everyone does - but not everyone wants to take this responsibility over their lives and it is not my place or my job to make them believe. It is my job to lead those, who do realize and who are ready to LIVE this actively
I am one with the Universe and all I need to do is ASK – and I will receive
And I deeply felt this one realization (that is not only true for me but for every single being on this planet):
My path is right because it is MY path.
There is no right or wrong, objectively speaking.
There can be no regret, no mistakes, no wrong decisions in life when you deeply understand this.
Your path is perfect because it is YOUR path.
No need to justify, no need to compare, no need for anything but to go on your own path.
And after all the guilt I felt the week before, after all the tears I cried for making mistakes, for choosing wrongly, for fearing that I hurt all these people in my life – I felt relief.
I felt that this is true. Because yes, I could settle for a “normal” life.
I could do my Master’s, become an interpreter, live my life in Vienna or in my hometown and be happy.
I would be happy.
But for how long?
How long until my heart would start to ache and long for more?
How long until comfortable would not be enough anymore?
How long until I discovered that actually, I am meant for more than “normal”?
Too long. Because I already know NOW.
I chose this DESPITE the fear (and I was scared as hell, believe me).
I chose this DESPITE the pain of leaving my life and my friends and my family.
I chose this DESPITE not knowing if it worked or not.
I chose this because I was burning with passion for it.
I chose this because my soul was on fire when I packed my suitcase and started to wander the world.
I chose this because I knew I was meant for more than normal. I was meant to change the world and help people uncover their truest, highest selves.
I chose this – and I continue to choose this.
And with this realization, new opportunities came crashing in as well.
Four people coming forth saying they’d like to work with me.
Business opportunities coming in left and right.
Collaboration ideas coming to life.
My Spiritual Sprinkle sessions being launched AND booked out for July.
I felt like I found myself again.
But first, I had to lose myself. To go deep, break down, let go of some pieces that were no longer serving this new era and taking action that matched that new energy.
And here I am, living my Main Character Era, traveling through Europe in my van, spending two or three days a week working a couple of hours while serving clients at the beach.
So, this is your sign:
It’s time to step out of the shadows and into this Main Character Era. The world is ready for you. In fact, the world needs you to shine your light and use your superpowers so you and others can impact the world.
You might feel like nothing is working right now.
Like you chose wrongly.
Like you should give up and go back to comfortable and normal, to settle.
But I know this is the last test before you rise into a new self. A new level of embodiment and confidence. A new chapter.
Your Main Character Era.
I see you.
I hear you.
I was you.
And therefore, I know exactly that the only thing you need to do is jump – and trust that you will fly.
If you are ready to do this together with me – check out this new program MAIN CHARACTER ERA, that came from my very own transformation, having it's full peak in Bulgaria. I created this because I KNOW how it feels to be on the edge of giving up, to doubt everything, to question your every move. But I also know that no strategy can fix this, no blueprint can give you the clarity you're looking for. You can only find it within. So let's find YOUR way.
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